Communication is essential for any relationship to thrive. Couples need to be able to express their feelings, needs, and concerns in a way that is respectful and understanding. Among the most effective communication techniques for couples are listening, fighting fairly, knowing the facts, worrying, being honest, respecting, observing, obtaining the intervention of third parties and active participation. When your partner is talking to you, it's important to make an effort to understand how they are feeling.
Try to put yourself in their shoes and feel what they are experiencing. Show your partner that you care by leaning towards them, keeping your face relaxed and open, and touching them gently. Let your words, actions, and expressions demonstrate your love for them, even if you are in conflict. It's also important to pay attention to body language.
You can say all the right things but if your arms are crossed and you're frowning, your partner won't respond positively. Communication is more than just saying the right words - it's about listening, loving, and supporting with all of your being. One of the biggest problems with communication is that couples often have a misconception of its purpose. Good communication requires work and patience from both partners - if it's not equal on both sides it won't work. Intimidation is one of the most common techniques used by couples to manipulate, control, and punish each other.
John Gottman's research indicates that relationship success doesn't depend on whether couples argue or not. In fact, happily married couples often cite communication as the main reason their marriage is successful. To achieve this level of understanding and insight, couples need to feel empathy and compassion for each other. Conflicts, incompatible needs, and communication problems can cause unhappiness in a marriage and ongoing emotional distress.
It's important to remember that the behaviors that intimidate couples are not always overt or aggressive. With patience and effort from both partners, couples can learn how to communicate effectively in a relationship.